Home > Life Change, Uncategorized, Work, Eat, Drink, Play > Honesty is such a lonely word

Honesty is such a lonely word

It’s Saturday afternoon.

My wife has pretty much been asleep since before 11:00 pm last night.  No sign of this changing, either today or in the coming months; it’s the price of full schedules at work and school.

I’m on laundry load number three for the day.  I’ve planned the week’s meals since I’m not here for dinners during the week and the babysitters can’t cook.  The grocery bill yesterday was staggering.

Tomorrow I will again take care of my mother as she recovers from a nasty fall and multiple fractures.

My kids are bored stupid but this is the only time I have to work on school.  I’d rather shut my cock in a car door than work on this blog right now.  I’m not feeling particularly coherent, creative, insightful or narcissistic so I’m not sure what I bring to the blogosphere today.

As the guilt at my procrastination crests, at some point this afternoon I will write checks for the memorial gifts for friends whose parents recently died and my old roommate who’s running for office.  I haven’t looked at Facebook in a month.  I’m a terrible friend.

I’m sick with bronchitis and my toe hurts like hell.  It’s a glass is half-empty day.  Days like this are the kinds of days that destroy change.

It would be easy to bail on school or housework, to emotionally eat, to placate my kids with money or TV, to order pizzas instead of making meals for the week, to tell my wife to get the hell up, to turn on the TV and watch football, to reach for a beer or four and then a furtive cigarette behind the house.  And taken individually, each of those would be understandable or satisfactory or both.  Taken cumulatively, they represent the Road to Hell, the return trip to the place I worked so hard to leave behind.

So maybe I’ll just do one of them…decisions, decisions…

  1. October 29, 2010 at 9:50 am

    I think one indulgence isn’t too bad, just to keep the overwhelming sense of the slog at bay….

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